I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
