you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
