he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
