I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize