god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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