What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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