Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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