I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
