the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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