So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize