umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
