You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
