how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
