i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just gift wrapped bread.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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