Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
