toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Damn victory sex feels great
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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