take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
