Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
