On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
