does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
