Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
