No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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