you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
