I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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