Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
