Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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