Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
