she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
