If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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