I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
