All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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