New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
