your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
