If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
