I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
