Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
