I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
