I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
