I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
this just has baby written all over it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
