I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
