I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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