We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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