You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
