You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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