Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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