i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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