Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
