Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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