to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you would pick up someone in the library
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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