Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
