Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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