I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
