I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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