ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
