well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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