are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's blow job season.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
